Muggle readers will need no introduction to the work of Comic Relief, so I now repeat my explanation to Madam Pince for the benefit of witches and wizards who have purchased this book. Comic Relief uses laughter to fight poverty, injustice and disaster. Widespread amusement is converted into large quantities of money (174 million pounds since they started in 1985 — over thirty‑four million Galleons). By buying this book — and I would advise you to buy it, because if you read it too long without handing over money you will find yourself the object of a Thief's Curse — you too will be contributing to this magical mission.

I would be deceiving my readers it I said that this explanation made Madam Pince happy about handing over a library book to Muggles. She suggested several alternatives, such as telling the people from Comic Relief that the library had burned down, or simply pretending that I had dropped dead without leaving instructions. When I told her that on the whole I preferred my original plan, she reluctantly agreed to hand over the book, though at the point when it came to let go of it, her nerve tailed her and I was forced to prise her fingers individually from the spine.

Although I have removed the usual library‑book spells from this volume, I cannot promise that every trace has gone. Madam Pince has been known to add unusual jinxes to the books in her care. I myself doodled absent‑mindedly on a copy of Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration last year and next moment found the book beating me fiercely around the head. Please be careful how you treat this book. Do not rip out the pages. Do not drop it in the bath. I cannot promise that Madam Pince will not swoop down on you, wherever you are, and demand a heavy fine.